From that to this

From That:
On Saturday, I had just had a swell time shooting paintball with some friends. We were discussing our new found respect for the soldiers that go to war. I had barely walked into the "war zone" when a paint ball exploded on me. And I thought if it was real In would be dead. A friend got a ball on his goggles right in front of his eyes (could have a been a disabled soldier). For a second I was really scared, somehow the lines between reality and fantasy had blurred out and it all looked the same. I was enjoying an activity I had always wanted to participate in but the real experience behind made it all too plausible. I had thoughts of Iraq, war zones of Somalia, Darfur, and even the Niger Delta. There is no heroism here, everyone for himself, God be the judge. As we got used to the whole fantasy turn reality, we started to strategize as soldiers would. We had suicide missions, we watched out for each other, at some point our code word for attack was shouting out "Rambo". It was delirious. We actually got used to it, crawling on the floor, covering each other, having outpost for look outs. It was fun once you got used to it. I wonder if at some point the soldiers found fun in the work they did. Isnt that the recipe for a good life, enjoying what you do?

To This:
THe fun I was over and I had gone to retrieve my phone when I got a text "Oh no, Bernie mac has died." I didnt mix it up. I knew what it meant and try as hard as I could not to believe it, it really was futile. A few days earlier he had beat the Pneumonia. How then did he die? What caused it? I rushed back to my friends, telling them what I had found out. Some guy heard me and I felt no reaction from him. Not that he should have cared, but I got a feeling he found out long before I did, while I was in my "war zone". He had accepted it and moved on. I dont know Bernie from Adam. If I had met him before he died he may not have paid me any mind. But there is something about the people we look up to, or that we hold in admiration. For me it was the banner fulfilling its purpose. It was his poise, his "this is what I am here to do and I will get it right" attitude. He cared not what you thought about him or how he goes about doing his thing. He knew he was doing it the best way he can and in a way you will never get to do it. It was his show. His life. I dont know him personally but I think he did it good. He once told a young man, " I dont want you to imitate me, just be you. Do your own thing." Bernie did his own thing, he was him. He was funny too. Not many people make good fun of their situation the way he did. You believed him, you felt for him. he made light of situations, and nothing seemed to bother him because he knew tomorrow would come and it will be a different ball game.

Well so long Bernie. In the words of Don Cheadle "Heaven just got funnier".