for a dancer...

To all those who left us too soon.

"For a Dancer," by Jackson Browne.


I don't remember losing track of you
You were always dancing in and out of view
I must have thought you'd always be around
Always keeping things real by playing the clown
Now you're nowhere to be found

I don't know what happens when people die
Can't seem to grasp it as hard as I try
It's like a song I can hear playing right in my ear
That I can't sing
I can't help listening
And I can't help feeling stupid standing round
Crying as they ease you down
cause I know that you'd rather we were dancing
Dancing our sorrow away

Keep a fire for the human race
Let your prayers go drifting into space
You never know what will be coming down
Perhaps a better world is drawing near
And just as easily it could all disappear
Along with whatever meaning you might have found
Don't let the uncertainty turn you around
(The world keeps turning around and around)
Go on and make a joyful sound

Now Your Struggle Continues

Last Friday, one of the guys in the office I work asked about my preparations for NYSC. I kidded with him about wanting to give me something (money) to enjoy my adventure with. He looked puzzle and said “don’t you know that now your struggle continues.” It didn’t take long to figure out he twisted the meaning of NYSC, and perhaps may be I had heard it somewhere sometime. He, in any case, didn’t want to defeat that purpose of continuing my struggle. How nice of him.

Well, struggle or no struggle, I am here wondering how all those going to Camp, NYSC orientation period of 3 weeks, are preparing. I wonder if they are looking to the fun times they will have, the new friends they will make, or how quickly they want to get it over with. The smart ones are wondering why I am not. It is okay if you did not wonder, you are bright but other things are on your mind.

Well, I am being visited by sins of the past. Something about credentials and such. To think I once had a chance to sort it all out but felt it shall pass away. Alas, this is not passing away and I can only wonder what would have been. Imagine all the people I have told I will be going off to camp and hoping it would be in Lagos, and now having to tell them, “err, no I ain’t going no more.” It is not so bad, but I am already tired of explaining and the pity look. And I was so looking forward to going to camp. Not with all the stories I heard, and the previous comments I got on my previous posts. You all whet my appetite. I was looking to take it by storm and move on to the future promised all the returnees as we are called. Never mind, I already figured out it was fairy tales in some cases.

While currently appealing, who am I kidding, the cabbie who dropped me off at the airport read my demeanor and he said, “Oga, don’t worry everything happens for good.” Wow, some people are just immensely wonderful. That straightened me out and I looked forward to what I can do to pass away effectively the next year, because if I don’t make the February batch it is a long road ahead. He did tell me his story though. He got into an accident and his cab was totaled, then the at fault driver refused to pay and the police were not helping much. It became a court case.

Somewhere along the line, he got a loan from the bank and couldn’t pay back and they haunted him back and forth for theirs. A friend who had been telling him come tomorrow, and tomorrow he says come tomorrow, finally gave him a time to come. In the meantime, his fiancé whom he was set to marry in December, bailed on him. How is that for stepping on a man when he is down?

Well, he went to his friend who gave him the key to the cab he drove me in; it was not his to keep. What he didn’t realize in all his troubles was that the day he got his car, was also his birthday. A text from a friend alerted him to the latter. Then the court case was cleared and he was compensated, and a project he was not paid for was suddenly paid and he paid back the back which actually gave him some peace previously when they saw he really couldn’t pay. Everything he said was back to normal, just the way it was before the accident occurred. Everything except now, he is without a fiancé which he said was the greatest part of the story. In his down time he had a chance to think and learn from his predicament. He saw things that pointed to him going in the wrong direction especially with the lady. I can tell you he was relieved.

So I heard that story and I smiled to myself. What is one year? I can weather it. Though I still wonder what the feeling is if I were getting ready for camp tomorrow. Think about it though, I don’t get to clear the nonsense I am in by February, I have to wait till next August, and then another year in the Corp, and two years is gone. That was my threshold to see how far I would have gone in Nigeria. That was when I should be taking stock, reviewing/assessing my time in Nigeria. More so, I was thinking the camp will revitalize my social life. I have no clue what is going on in Lagos. Thank God for Theater@Terra though there is no bar and everyone leaves immediately.

So my struggle continues. I read a book once; A Setback is a Setup for a Comeback. I suppose I can practice what I read in it. I am the comeback kid. Does anyone know what it feels like the night before camp? I think most people are worried about getting to camp early so they can be registered and get their uniforms in the right sizes. A friend said they gave some girls guy clothes because they ran out, and some people wore sizes that were either over or under theirs. Who wouldn’t want drama like this? Nigeria we hail thee.

Crappy writing...

Nigeria Jaga Jaga

I remember well when I first heard this song, light years after it had filled the airwaves. I was never one to keep up with popular culture, pardon me if you see me excited about some new slogans when the rest of the world has caught on to something new. Why am I asking you, you are online and would never come to my rescue when I make my gaffes in person? Oh well, moving on.

So I heard this song and did enjoy the beat much. Very up and bubbling, if I say so myself. It sure got my hard core frozen muscles moving, however involuntary it may have been. Well most didn’t like the song. “Why use such words to depict a country?” I heard most people ask. Mind you these are people who have used worse to describe or reference Nigeria. Some would go at length to describe their fellow Nigerians as “those Nigerians.” Pardon me; are you not one of them?

The song did describe Nigeria in many ways. The happening and the not happening. Being in Nigeria is a different reality for me, as visiting and looking around is very different from living and experiencing. Much of my observation wouldn’t matter which way you view it. If grace flows from leader to follower, it is a must that grass (or crass) flows from leader to follower or is it the other way around. Case in point: our football teams. I think it has been run much the same way the Nigerian Government has been run.
Here I must offer a disclaimer: Federal agents if you continue to read, you agree that you cannot hold me to any of these words.

Our football matches of recent have been played abysmally. We played well in the news print from every assurance that we will beat Tunisia for the World Cup berth, to how we will win the Under 20 World Cup as well, and the verdict is out on if we will be the first host team to win the Under 17 World Cup. It’s all on paper; read the dailies. We have high-caliber players yet, nothing happened. We are missing the fundamentals of a game everyone thinks we should have mastered. Even the US, a relatively new comer to the world stage have picked up some valuable skills and may one day dominate the sport, and who knows take over FIFA.

To wit (I like grammar) every time I see our preparation for soccer, I see a lot of things wrong with this country of ours. No one knows what is wrong and those who do are pushed to the rear. Everyone makes promises and you wonder if what they see and reality are all illusions to you. We played Germany for the opening of the Under 17 World Cup, and no doubt the boys did some magic. They sure came back, but somehow I think the penalty they got was their good luck charm. The sports commentator, someone I have met stated the “German team have played together for 3 years.” They were not scraped up and expected to perform wonders; they were prepared and it showed. We on the other hand thought our boys were privileged to play and therefore must bend over backwards to earn it.
We have leaders who may or may not be qualified to perform their jobs well. I speak no ill of them, but can you at least read up on what your position is and stop parading yourself as one without clue. It is a dead giveaway. When an IG of Police comments that Nigerians think solving crime is like watching a movie, instead of actually taking steps to solve the crime, what sense does it make? To him? To you? If it cannot be solved in an hour as depicted on CSI Miami, how many days have you had to solve yours? Come to think of it, in CSI Miami or any crime solving movies for that matter, it takes more than the length of the movie. Through the wonders of film editing, they cut it down to an hour or two. Think about it for a minute. Bad Boys I and II, featuring Martin Lawrence and Will Smith, the character Mike Lowry even had time to romp a bodacious lady in Tea Leoni and … Even my man Martin, had time to romp his lady too, and kiss his children good bye. That does take time doesn’t it? So Mr. IG –in case you are reading don’t quote me on this – a movie, in its own reality, spans days and is then compressed into an hour and half showing us the highlights and interesting/gory parts.
I could go on, but it is all fuzzy to me now as I write it down. I am sitting here in the darkness, on a charged laptop battery from the ever noisy, air polluting, diesel guzzling generator – I am not complaining – in a country capable of powering half of Africa or so I heard. The other day I listened to my friend solve the problem of electricity and yet no light. Perhaps you have to.
So I am done rambling. Forgive me while I get back into the grove of writing. It has been a long minute.

THESE ARE ODD:

Driving down the 3rd mainland bridge, as I pass by the turning to Oworonshoki, I see a bill board by Bank PHB quoting Jack Welsh saying “If you don’t take over your destiny, someone else will.” Really? Is that how they summarized what CBN has done to them? They mismanaged their destiny and now Sanusi has taken it over for them. I bet they didn’t see that coming.

Again, I saw people running off the streets when they saw a cow being herded by a lone man. I remember the days they used to have three men control a cow; cows these days are soft. Anyway, it made me wonder if you run off the street from a “harmless” cow, how come you see a crazy driver barreling at you and you dare him to hit you with his car? Only in Lagos.

3 Weeks

I have been back in NIgeria 3 weeks today. There is a lot to say but I am tired and uninspired. Actually, I was inspired before logging into blogger but can not remember any of it. It has been an interesting ride so far.

Necessity:

Another little story I like. A couple fly-campers were running low on food in northern BC a week before the helicopter was scheduled to pick them up. Worry turned to desperation when a bear broke into their foodcache and stole most of the food.

What to do? They hunted down the bear and indirectly recovered their stolen food in the form of boiled bear meat. Not the tastiest, but it sure beats eating tree bark.

There are always opportunities cleverly disguised as obstacles. Hunt them down.

The Returnee Series: I am not complaining

So I landed at Murtala MOhammed. Took 2 hours for one of my bags to come out of the plane - well I think that was the hold up. The plane seats 419, at 2 bags a person thats 838 bags, perhaps it makes sense. One bag did not make it.

This is the fun part. Now all the folks I flew in with were really well behaved. I didnt see any of the "Nigerians in Amsterdam are always rowdy" syaings. They were orderly. Then we got to Murtala Mohammed and next thing they are fighting over carts. Mehn, you could have knocked me over with a handful of pounded yam. I guess when you are in Naija, better behave like Naija folks - as in alagbari lo ga mugun (I really cant translate that)

Its been fun so far. Note to all those thinking of moving back to Nigeria - not that I am an expert - but when you visit and when you decide to live here are two different ball games. The sight for both is different. I am not regretting it, I am loving it but I do miss the non-ceasing electricity supply. And also having a million route to go to any one location avoiding traffic on the way.

I was at the Ayinke House Matternity Ward... O My God... I wont say more than that.

If you are a returnee and have any adivce, be sure to hit me up. And looking forward to NYSC camp. I hear its fun.

The days here are flying by here. And yet so stretched out. Enough of my not complaining, but really I am not complaining.

I am coming down.

Last year I was in Nigeria and did a little write up on my visit. Now I read it and it sounds more like some poetry dish than an account of my visit. Though I suppoise I can say it contained some useful information on my expoerience. I wrote on there that God willing I will be back permanently some day. I only didnt think then it would be this year, or maybe I decided not to accept it. So early this year, I thought about it, more like finalized it in my mind and told all that needed to know, I am coming down to Nigeria. As soon as it escaped my mouth, I knew it was in motion and there was no turning back.

I will miss the United States. Though my friend said not to worry it will pass. I am not sure why anhyone wakes up and say they will move back home. Afterall everything you hear is aboiut how hellish it is, how everyone wants to leave the place and make a dash for the US. I always wondered really why the fascination with this country called the United States, and no I am not one of those people who walk through a door and shut it behind them not wanting anyone else to walk in. I cannot say I had much of a choice when I came here to stay.

In the light of what Bill Clinton did, sacrificing some time to go see a ruthless dictator to free his fellow citizens however wrong they may have been, once is encouraged. You know someone has your back no matter what. That your country where you labor is watching out for you and values you. It appears the president of NIgeria was aware of some local terrorists in his own backyard and instead of quickly breaking it uo and restoring order, waited for them to misbehave so he can kill them.

Back to my story. While some are leaving Nigeria to make it somewhere else that is not Africa, I am carrying my bags and returning. Call me overreaching, overacheiving, over whatever, maybe deluded... that is your problem. But the enriching of my nation, the changing adn turning it on to the right path is my goal. I cannot do it all alone, but perhaps those who have started and those who dream it will join and enable me as I do the same for them. Then someday, everyone will want to return.

It just amazes me, with all that is going on in Nigeria, the kidnapping of foreigners, the theives breaking into homes and all the other evils you hear of, the forigners are always retunring to the so called "hell-hole". Granted there is more to it. Just incase you are wondering, yes I have always wanted to return and had planned to do it in another 3 years while I reap the American Dream, but then other issues played along making it early. Will you join me...?

Wow

I totally forgot I had a blog. It took a minute to even remember the address of this blog. Well well... I shall try to start posting again.